Pain is a Loving Guide
This past month has been an early winter cycle for me. I returned from a fall retreat inspired and energized to take my health and vitality to a new level. I declared my devotion to a regular yoga practice and continuing my holistic nutrition journey and opened myself to divine guidance. I’m smiling now as I write this because I received guidance, however, it showed up much differently than I had imagined. Such is the way of the Universe.
During the summer I had been experiencing pain in my lower back and hips. I thought the pain was coming from using my Pelaton bike, so I decided to focus more on my yoga practice. I had some reduction in pain, but it wouldn’t last. By the end of summer, I had excruciating pain in my lower back and hips when getting out of bed in the morning. I needed to support myself on the kitchen counter to put pots and pans on lower shelves, and I just kept going.
There is so much richness in this story, and my body has truly been my teacher. I was feeling so happy that I’ve learned to pay attention to my emotional guidance system, using my emotions as queues to my connection to source. I would sit in meditation on my floor pillow, and then would be in pain getting back to a standing position! I wondered what was wrong with my lower back, but I would dismiss the thought and keep going. I had not yet made the connection that divine guidance can come in the form of physical pain too, and it kept getting louder!
The first gift came as a synchronicity while I was on retreat in Savannah and met a wonderful woman who happens to be neuro-muscular massage therapist. She had me lie on the floor and released my hip flexors which left me in tears but strangely able to get up off the floor no longer in pain. This led to the next synchronicity when I asked my miracle worker massage therapist for a recommendation of someone local who practices neuro-muscular massage. She recommended Dr. K who practices reiki and energy based chiropractic methods, and I immediately made the appointment for the day after Thanksgiving when I would be off work.
Thanksgiving Day arrives and I’m doing my usual cook fest, immersed in my kitchen doing all the heavy lifting and politely refusing offers of help. My back is feeling every bend, every lift, every reach, and I keep going. Then as I make the last motion to get dinner on the table, a chef knife falls off the counter and lands on the top of my foot, slicing a 2” gash in my foot, and it could have been so bad if my flip flop strap hadn’t stopped it going further. I got it then. “PAY ATTENTION TO THE FEELINGS IN YOUR BODY!!!” I had no choice but to slow the F…. down and let my family help me. I had to let my husband wrap my foot in paper towels and scotch tape (later we made a bandage butterfly). He retrieved my office chair which has wheels and allowed me to roll around the kitchen and up to the dinner table. What a sight.
For the past six weeks I’ve been working with the chiropractor in releasing more old emotions from my body and adjusting my spine and neck as my body reveals what is needed. I am healing by paying attention and allowing myself to receive. I am healing by embracing this early winter season without judgement, knowing that as I receive divine light I will again share it with everyone in my life.
The gift in this soul assignment was to release a very old belief that what I think, feel, or desire is irrelevant. I envisioned this old belief and energy fluttering softly away from my body like floating feathers, and I joyously whooshed them away. In that moment the fog lifted, and I felt my frequency rising to love and connection. I felt my creativity flooding in and I was inspired to paint and write. All of this has me feeling immense Gratitude and Trust.
Gratitude and Trust…my words for 2024.